im tired of being alive surviving fpr what the one person I thought I could trust and would always have my back was the person who brought up the name calling of me with LG BG and then LG and jp have told DF and the other that ML works with it's in a letter unstable thief cohersing . when LG and BG are the cohersing ones and jp is unstable has stolen many times more than I have before but I've learned and moved on. but the fact is and truth. she took away all of the things for a person to have to feel normal independent and a chance for a life can't say I really have had a good life cause not so much. it's like as usual from my farther and now mother there is nothing CP can do or not do or even be here around here for her this biological mom to show with actions that she too prefers her son she was leaving him half or so of ML account and herd I am not sure what I'm getting it's constantly feels like conditional type with her not unconditional that's how it is with her son unconditional. well I don't want conditional type of care and love I should have had unconditional too if not again she should have never ever brought me into this world where I don't want to be I want to go to sleep and never wake up again. I can't really sleep much no matter how much pm's I take I can't barely eat it's gotten worse before it will ever be calm peace I just want to be left alone until death hopefully I'll go first seems she'll like that. I don't know what to do I've detached no reaction silence walk away and seems still bothers me. well I'm done trying caring or anything anymore like I said before she can go to nursing home go but I'll be right here till sold I'm not going to even and I mean ever be homeless again due to her actions not a place I want to die at. I like my room and that's where I'll be. she says she is dying at home I don't know the biological mother can say anything who knows I just hoping that I will be first since I feel like I shouldn't have been here in the first place and if God wanted me to be why these parents when what they really wanted was CP a son. I couldn't be a good mother to my daughter or babies I've miscarriaged cause I didn't have the skills or was taught and shown how a good mother is. I'm done with caring trying fighting or leaving my room unless to eat or bathroom shower TV will be later the more I stay away from this person I don't know anymore would be best for peace in the little surviving I have wish seems to decrease day by day I'm numb now and just feelings of I don't care anymore for myself what's the use to.