how is being a Christian lying thought was dentist but looks like it is to get to do something to me which I already have nothing so what just keep taking more when I don't have strength or energy or anything the last shelter I have is that little house shed God please help me when I want to sleep and not wake up due to sickness pain suffering it's not safe out there homeless and it has only increased so what where am I to go my little shed the house cause it's shelter at least I wish I could walk away quietly but I can't I have no funds for it nothing it still just I don't get how a murderer or rapist or criminal their parents love them still and care and here I am not a criminal I done one bad thing misunderstanding and mistake that I have been punished for stilll either from so called biological mother and I've punished myself everyday and still isn't and wasn't enough where if I didn't be born and just abort or adoption you've already taken enough fine don't get home when death i knew that would happen the least is to stay until she goes to nursing home seems needs to yep I'm stuck here and no life just what she wanted I'm very ill I feel I'm dying I can feel that and I don't want to die out in streets period I should have here not bothering you and still not enough probably won't even let me be in little house shed at least till nursing home God she has already taking enough from me and name calling and punishment over one mistake least could do is stay in this room or little house but knowing her like I do she won't want me anywhere here period. I don't know what to do or can do I'm lost and hurting and sick more and more Iwant to die here not out in the streets or woods . I've already done that am I to do that again God why do I have to suffer why can one of them see how it is being homeless no home no shelter from rain or real hot or cold weather knowing if dying out there could be animals I don't want that. why can't she suffer the homeless part God why do I have to continue to suffer and pain and hatred for how someone could do this to one that they claimed they loved and cared for which was lies I felt inside that more punishment and more betrayal and loss when they know and don't care you have no where to go no nothing she took all that away if gone a long while she'll throw away my stuff it hurts and I'm shocked and betrayed one person thought wouldn't.