then acting again like nothings wrong seriously really when she whispered and she knows she did and God knows she kept saying thank you thanks keep me posted seriously I remember though what motivation speaker said and will continue cause who knows what will happen next not telling me anything no communication no nothing I'm tired of fighting feelings I'm numb now that's what that makes me feel as. right here fourth of July nope not giving them the power none of them who whispers when open my door saying can't talk loud she just out of room. might here it. so I'm done with food and all yes I am unstable and yes I made mistake and misunderstanding I did ask that's why was set up to connect the card and to the u place for ordering food and rides that she agreed to just not the amounts she could have communicated to me with all ganged up on me never like to see one person ganged up on. CP is lucky he didn't stay here he made a life of his own wish I could throwing away ones belongings isn't right is stealing form of she's mean sneaky unstable herself and always was a thief. and made me homeless at least 3 times who decides to be homeless. she lies and sneaks around out of her mind mostly now I just don't get it why do I have to still live and all that when there's nothing to actually live for. she has emotionally abuse to me neglected and manipulation that is main one cause if don't stay with her cause she's lonely takes me off the will put other 3 on it under draft that isn't here couldn't date call or talk to a date can't be gone long or without her or she'll throw my stuff away. can't not be right near my room cause she'll steal and take my things. it's punishment over and over again when I've punished myself enough still doing so. starting tomorrow no food or drink. done with lies sneaky behaviors and I saying could not talk too loud she'll hear me when I came out of my room. why again do I have to be in this world she could have adopted or abortion no she had to have me and cause issues still she lied today she lied saying Diane s didn't come here Sunday at or little after 6; I know she did I saw the vehicle. lies lies who knows if I get estate or LI or ml nothing really is in writing but saw li and saw will t Johnson estate that I get I guess still good I don't know that either I want nothing to do with those 3;I'm only here cause no money car job friends and really no family either into what she's put me through and her husband too it's a surprise I'm still here. well guess if it isn't true then have to just realize still have little house and my room at least till death or when I die hopefully sooner than later I've had enough done lost my appetite wow. surprising if she wants food she can go with them why do I need to I either don't eat or drink liquids I'm good with that just silence and detach expect the worse and prepare for the best. just hanging in there till God wants me which now God do something with this so called mother and her minions devil acts I think they need to doing nothing but causing me bad things im still sick from those times homeless because of her I'm done she needs to go to bed ready book don't want her in there I want to be alone you've done enough bad things to me you've caused. the house pretty much is pretty ugly except my room little house and just tv