here it is again I'm still here and wishing still I wasn't can't figure out still why I am certainly not for her jp or anyone else guess just me on well who knows. id rather just go but can't no money no nothing and still pretty sick so not going homeless again id probably would die if that was happen which will not I have little house and pop up tent hopefully don't have to get a job with more pay and hours can't seem to with this severe bipolar depression disorder but I'm fine without getting fns benefits dont really eat anyway or barely so I would just have liquids with money from July fns and save it mostly it for August and so on if don't get it in August doesn't bother me and this is my fns anyway so drinks is good I'm fine with it called on July 8 Mecklenburg dss for fns renew of benefits on hold forever must be a lot out there for fns benefits I called about 915 or 930 am so see if they send me my renew recertify for benefits form if not to make sure they do or do I need to call back to speak with caseworker on it. it doesn't bother me either way. I'm hoping to die sooner then later and with stress and virus and mental bipolar depression still really bad and other serious physical elements I can't really eat or sleep much just not really knowing what is going to happen to me isn't the greatest feeling. I just have to let nothing bother me cause if you let them they will so I am not staying silent and detached from her and any other not family members to me is BG and LG. she jp is weird and unstable too and has stolen as well but again no big deal for her me I get condemned judged sneaky strange behaviors she has been confused incoherent memory loss. she should feel. extremely bad of what she's done to me it's worse then any mistakes and misunderstandings I've made and I learned from and have been forgiven my God the only one that counts not those non family members to me LG and BG out for nothing good or nice or understanding when it comes to someone like me suffering everyday barely hanging on. if not again she will still write the 100 check I at least deserve that. wonder if she had to tell too her lawnmower man about us not getting along or just about me I wouldn't be surprised she's done a lot of cruelty to me emotional abuse neglect manipulation and abandonment someone I thought wouldn't ever but I was wrong. take care of each other joke.