it seems to never end with her she says sorry for her emotional abusive behavior and then does it again and so forth and can't leave cause I have no money for lasting stay or family or friends just her that I don't really want to have she's emotionally and mentally and neglectful and manipulation type of abuse and she's made it so bad where I don't want to be around her cause what's she's done to me and changing the will so much it's just so devil type actions for real I'm trying to get it away from me and to stop and everyday you don't know what your getting next and I'm sick of it. today I think I'll be in the den all day only because been in room all time I know the devil actions will appear sometime just have to be ready for it I've told nicely and firmly just to leave me alone and it just either gets worse or just plain mean so I try and ignore it and and her little side kicks BG and LG she doesn't do any of this behavior to them or CP that she never sees or hears from wish that was me I'm sorry God forgive me but wishing she would pass on cause of all the abuse emotionally she has caused me including homeless several times for about 2 months first it was in my car when I had it 2nd was when I didn't have a car sometimes id hang out at shopping center areas in mint hill during the day or a library or coffee shop and then in evening later to find a place to sleep id go when everything is closed by a store area that had a table, chair I had blanket and a comforter id sleep there and then get up when it was light and go wash up in grocery store bathrooms and use bathroom too and depending on how much little money I had I would get coffee and a muffin something like that and wherever I got it at I would just be there for the whole day and then find a different place to sleep that happened every day I didn't have a car anymore sold it so I tried to find another place where it was ok to sleep at for the night and then would go to next on and on and sometimes id go to the park and hang there all day then around there find a place to sleep at night at then even by a church one time not really visible didn't want them to tell me to leave I've done all that for 2 months some in mint hill and some in Matthews NC areas. I will always resent her for causing me to have no life to be stuck here with her it's not fair I cannot date cause I'm here and no car no money no job no friends couldn't take care of my daughter cause she never showed me what a good mother is i only got some of that from nanny. I just ask you God if your seeing this journal please protect me put a shield around me when it starts and help me not to say anything just walk away and detach when all I want to do is say something. I'm kind of afraid of what she'll do next with devil ways you never know will I be punished in a horrible way by a PO for using large amounts of her money when it was a mistake and misunderstanding she did give me permission to use sometimes uber eats and uber rides once a month or when no food stamps yet just never said amount and ever since that mistake and misunderstanding ive never used any of her account for that again it was now doordash under ebt food stamps account which is my account and my debit card account nothing to do with hers ever again and the lies she starts like she did yesterday was uncalled for just a way to start things and trying to keep destroying me problem with that her doing things is that my life has already been destroyed by her having me bringing me into this world that is cruel mean set up to destroy someone a family member doing this I would never expect to be done. I'm sure she lied about will stuff too hopefully I can see the documents and you sign and mail back I'm just keep hoping God will take me before her I don't get why I'm still here having to constantly suffer with this woman who is supposed to be my mom but doesn't act like a great mom would one who would never hurt her child especially emotionally or in anyway letting devil in her and do these awful things don't get it I can't leave I have no place to go and I have to get my share from what's left and this house when passed. and it keeps getting so hard very very hard I have no one so it's even more harder to fight and keep surviving I don't know how much more I have left in me to do so. she took everything from me and now im just stuck and need God to get me out of this terrible hurtful emotional abuse manipulated and neglect is what she has done to me and still doing I don't know what with each day will happen next you think she won't do anything else and does she admitted last night Saturday before 8 pm that she lied about the doordash thing and about David saying something to her all a lie and all. I know that cause no way he could say about doordash because it's all on my accounts the EBT card account for food and any non food items is on my personal visa debit card not anything with her. I'm tired of being used and emotionally abused and neglected and manipulation done to me keep the devil ways somewhere else and someone else I don't know what I'm going to do about august 2025 the 17th if I don't get food stamps I don't know really any other options but I'm not going to tell her whether I get it or not and see what happens in July on 17 will only order food for what I eat cause groceries are expensive for sure and coffee too I have my singles in my drawer I will have it.