well coming to end here at hotel just will be back ony bday or little after either best western plus Pineville NC or sleep inn Matthews NC due to mental and physical health issues and money for rides. if nothing at home as a birth certificate or where else to mail to get birth certificate then sometime next week have to get it. hopefully it will be ok but hopefully not too much longer to live a bag or a pillow or something around the house, the best would be for me to sleep and not wake up so no more pain Inside. tried to tell the only one family member and nothing really just wanting to make sure store and walking guess I can do that till death I can only keep a journal to try to process this at least until I am no longer here. cannot at hotel cause she wouldn't answer phone so have to be at home suffocating with a bag or pillow or some homemade something feeling like a mistake on a daily basis I don't know what can help me nothing has hotels not really or anything else that matter I cannot work due to this or no vehicle or enough money to take multiple rides. at least she'll have to do something if in house. with my Mandy koala right there with my cremation she'll have to pay cremation, vase and death certificate and make sure only emily Madison Riley Preslar gets all money from my part. why does she say save all I can for, just for state id and birth certificate. she'll pay for student loan cause I cannot. hotels down to holidays even if that . I think too I'm just going to look at TV not move till death shut off inside and see if not eat or anything. maybe then she'll wake up and care and compassionate, understanding. or pay for away mental facility would be nice in mountains then in a log cabin since I now love so much the trees, air, calm peace for a moment at least. don't get why can't send me somewhere like they did her son to drug treatment center. I know who their only child was that they loved and love me is a mistake she feels sorry for me so that's why I'm coming home because I don't have enough money to stay or vehicle ride share to pay. now its worse lower hotel times cause it's not helping I don't think anything will till I die. may God help me

Well we will see how this goes going home, it's my home too. God said to help each other out not just her which seems to be a lot once a month holidays she can pay with few days holidays. She'll need to do help with paying for rides too I have to do getting my birth certificate and then in Jan or closer to June 2026 pay for state id on my current driver's license 

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