story of me again journaling on 5/7
When I came home was told that Aunt L was calling places for mom to be in nursing home and they were going to sell house with no regards to me because mom was lonely. No taking care of me where I would go and live just about mom and her loneliness making it always more so about her. But when I communicated my homeless situations and didn't want it ever again cause I am very mentally ill bipolar depression. Cannot work, drive do much of anything so she said and swore to God and me that I would be taking care of as half of house amount that was sold since I too have lived in this house for years. I don't want the pop up tent sleeping bag, blankets and living in woods even if I love trees. There's no shower hot water, bed, air and heat a bathroom. Would have to find a bathroom in a place and bathe and use bathroom don't that too it sucked and made depression so much worse. then she swore she would give me 100 dollars a month starting 5/7 hopefully the check will work and not like her card. It was no regards to me or cared is that a sign I ask of emotional abuse and neglect said online could be. It hurts to realize you really don't have no one or a family. No one gets it this severe mental illness and became homeless due partly before my own mother, who does that? Was thinking about going due to loneliness. I knew something wasn't right. the aunt L and uncle B wanted to apologize for what they did and said. Looks like God took care of that too and that I was told and was made to happen to come back home. Never go back to hotels until she passes but it will be extended stay apartment type to live in when I get life insurance and sell if house and whatever is left if she does not sell house or goes in nursing home before she dies then if she does then I give half of the house sold at if 200,000 then 100,000 if in the 300,000 then 150,000 if 400,000 and change then 200,000 and change. I will not become homeless again she had me she needs to make sure I'm taking care of or she should have never had me. Mistake is what I still feel everyday and the depression too gets worse and worse. If only suicide would work. Then I would never have to be concerned or worried about being homeless again will I have to block Aunt L or will it be ok? Is their apologies for real I don't know I do know God's ways are real I will lean on that on everything it's in his hands I leave all this to me. The people act to get me that I think are everyone I pray God destroys that and that I ever become homeless again since he got me to come back here. Good luck hopefully God I will get social security and will continue to get 100 a month from mom till death and to the store with food stamps benefits. And I'll always have a place to live and will not be homeless again, God you will take care of me no matter what happens with this mother of mine. I am wondering is it emotional abuse and neglect from a mother to an adult child when no regards of her possible being homeless again cause sell house and go in nursing home with no regards to me it makes depression worse and no trusting anyone worse because of her and her actions. God be with me