sneaky behaviors doesn't make a Christian. you may want people or be around people I don't I want where I don't feel just prayers to God it's all I want not people cause I they do is disappoint. which I won the lottery so could be in a cabin in the woods where it's peace and no one around but again it costs money. it feels like so called family always against you seems to push me to the point of suicide it's enough I don't bother them so shouldn't bother me whether you like it or not. I'm stuck here but not by choice maybe should be in a nursing home and if so I should get my half of this house since I've been in here for years. and she said several times as long as I am here is all that matters don't say if isn't true. good thing I don't hear anything thanks for headphones. I have been in support groups for bipolar depression but that's when I saw a psychologist not sure if free ones are online but I do try everything that doesn't cost money. no one can say when they don't know what it's like to suffer to try to survive each day. but if sneak and she does this then I will get half of house and storage little house to be moved away from here, somewhere in woods area or stay there till pop up tent is delivered here I've been through more than they can ever go through or experience. a mistake just exists is all till gone. detach is best for me in this bipolar depression issues. prayer back up plans saving money of 100 a month to do some things in home for family member since cannot work. believe me I have tried. I know I'm not going to leave to long I feel it whether it's before her or not I do not know but sometimes I wonder if I was dead of suicide would it be easier for her since all care for is store possibly walk something like that when told several times as long as I am here.is that true God really cause I really don't believe anything anyone says period much less believe in myself like myself or anything the less I feel the less anyone talks to me the better all I ask is 100 month since cannot work, and a lot of why I'm in this situation is half the family God some reason thought I should be in why don't know but what gets me somewhat through is journaling and pray to God to help detach from anything that makes this worse. of course this is taking long cause that have to talk about whatever it is usually probably me or birthday nursing home selling house fin. who knows. what do other people do when in these type of situations do they do what I am doing or what? I know God had his disciples or some people turn on him crucify him and he didn't do anything to them. I can only hope soon my life will be over the pain won't be anymore and I can sleep instead of this going on cause they don't like how someone else is acts if it isn't like them