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it's hard again being alive dealing with this family member not close to anymore and the resentment I've held of her. when will it be let go sometimes I wonder why God sent me back here. is it nothing was helping me it's worse being homeless what? the fact I know she probably has called Chris I would not be surprised if so but that there doesn't give me peace either part of what I feel is against me and what I went through as a young teenager girl they all preferred him. sometimes still believe do just he has own life I cannot due to a severe mental bipolar depression that doesn't seem to disappear. I try in all things to survive to make it live able cause God wants it like this but it's hard not sure if she's telling me the truth has the will been changed has the life insurance changed or cancelled I don't know nothing I can do now about it just have to believe it's not changed and hopefully maybe I don't live as long as her. she goes to church at least says so but actions of the church person I'm not seeing. I have no life this is it and the negative of her daily doesn't help, should not question God's plan for me to come back her but partly I am. the trust is gone in everyone, now I don't want to feel anymore can that be taking too? dec end or in Jan 2026 got to get this state id card on my current driver's license for just identification purposes. good luck to me, how is she still good in using an expired license when she has to use it
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