I tried to call I think phone is off looks like since this am but makes me wonder and question again am I being set up again. there's nowhere for me to go, no nothing story of a nothing person. I just know if it was Chris I think she would answer and it shows I am a mistake and it's time at least before birthday for me to go meaning dead go. if they had to call I know she wouldn't answer she doesn't answer me much less private calls so I think at home is best before 55. leave my part I guess to Emily. Make sure my bear is right there and stays with the ashes at funeral place or home but I wonder will she throw that away too. starting tomorrow I'm not eating anything be easier to die.

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