yes sometimes I do blame God for creating me and telling me no matter if I say I am a mistake he says I'm not that he doesn't make me mistakes but if that's true why did he give me parents like what they did to me when what they really wanted was the son not the daughter so I question all of this when I know my mother can lie she maybe talking to Chris I think she still is no matter what he's done. maybe not her brother or wife but maybe Chris and I'm looking as this is a family member I work for as long as keeps giving money for vacation or whatever that is all get me through cause not important not good or anything but seem to be only God wants me here and someday I'll be with family always thought was family and my babies. can . only hope God will protect me and comfort me until my death time. I guess God did what was best but I'll never understand . life is just trying to make it till death and it's so hard every day hotels traveling is only thing getting me through a little by little