This is life blog if want to call it that

On the night that some strangers to me but apparently not a biological parent think it's fine to gain up on me destroy me and make this mental I didn't want or ask for but it's here and nothing I can do about it now or anymore only way is never wake up again which trying to find the way and where. Don't want it in nature animals will get me but then I think I am a mistake not wanted, useless, a nothing and a family member of my biological mom makes a comment and smirk when I said I am a mistake and I am she wasn't in my life what I lived with a so called father and a fake so called mother. Walking when got back it was strange and when showing up and when they talked her in this type stuff no need to prosecute me in jail I'll be soon when I'm in homeless shelters church parks banded buildings forest with tent. Cannot go back it's too bad evil vibes all there and my room too that's where these people treated me like I'm an evil criminal and I'm not i am a hurt depressed mentally bad suffering person I just want it to end  end it all I have to try these interviews I scheduled for jobs if get none then I will for sure or try to usually hasn't worked through this life the pills, alcohol, trying to hang myself cut myself, suffercating still working on that one. She always said I could trust her and she wouldn't hurt me all of it was a lie the mental abuse I endured there too could not date and have them pick me up at house and come back, basically had to be with her all time and do for her hair, walk, then if not kept putting the guilt of not doing it and that no one cares have no family but actually that's me not her. I saw the more love that was had in the house for my so called brother feel like don't have or actually no one. So that should kill me when I go to the forest for nature so last peace before I die no need to get law in this with account the account is deleted and closed and froze so I will and won't ever use it again even if she did agree to do it and set it up cause no one else who did drive would do the store it still seemed to be one me again even when I didn't have a car or will again of my own at least maybe rental I don't know if had enough money would live in a log cabin far from here in the woods