if anyone finds this phone or a piece of paper read and take care of it.
I have tried to help and do what's right and what I can but I just can't anymore. I've talked to therapists before and I've took medicine and nothing works. And so called family member just doesn't get it .but I tried that why I stayed at hotel longer. I don't and didn't want to die at hotel or in woods I wanted it at home as suffercating with pillow or hanging the knife is too bloody. I just wanted last family member to care to love me take care of me it's hard to take care of someone else when I can't myself. It's probably best if I die unless God continues to stop this. When everyday and night you feel like a mistake I envy next door neighbor she was so close to her mother I'm not I lost everything. I just have to try these 2 interviews and see if still can get a job with just Lyft, taxi and bus transportation maybe if do get job, money that possible rent a car.